A Message From The Central Government: RENOUNCE PUBLICLY

 

“School encouraged me to say things that I knew were wrong!”

“I was influenced by a dishonest media!”

“I thought free speech meant I could say ANYTHING I wanted!”

You were just a young person, trying to find your way in a chaotic society. While others your age were fighting the hideous evil of Islamaterrorism or volunteering to repel intruders at our Great Southern Border, you were taking advantage of the morally lax standards of the period and spreading subversive propaganda on your social media account.

Until this Proud Nation said ENOUGH! So, while you might have been late to join the Party, you’ve seen the error of your ways. We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of when we were young. Embarrassment is understandable, but there is only one path to salvation: Public Renouncement. Continue reading “A Message From The Central Government: RENOUNCE PUBLICLY”

If Ever You’re Imprisoned in a Carnival Jail

If ever you’re imprisoned in a carnival jail, I need you to remain calm: help is on the way.

I may be on a ride that you didn’t want to get on because turbulent rides “upset your tummy” and I may be irritated because you used the word “tummy” even after I told you how much it irks me out, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not coming for you. Continue reading “If Ever You’re Imprisoned in a Carnival Jail”