The year is 1918, and we find ourselves riding mostly westward via rail, but on a path that drifts in directions that make sense to neither Man nor God. The long icy train carrying a cargo of cattle, swine, and leathery human beings wends its way upon tracks bent round mountains, over gorges, and through rocky walls. The almanac had predicted a bitter, harsh winter, but the passengers, being the men and women they were, denied nature’s potency—not to mention the acumen of the lily-white college boys out in Pennsylvania who rejected both war and hardship so that they could publish their preachy little weather books. Continue reading “The Year Was 1918: Journey Into the West”
New restaurant opening in the Wynwood Art District this fall.
“When people see a man walking with an umbrella in the sun, they look up at the sky. What for? They’ve got an app on their phone ten times more powerful than their dang eyes. What they should be askin’ is, ‘Why that guy have an umbrella on a sunny day? We ain’t had no rain in a spell. What he up to?’ But nah, they never ask that.
You look at this thing, boy. No, don’t touch. Just look. A hook, a stalk, and a bunch of flaring cloth folds. I didn’t make no modifications. I tried. Had a corkscrew in one of my earlier models down at the business end. Kept breaking off. It’s just an umbrella, son. Made to keep the dang rain off your ol’ head. And it do that, too. Continue reading “The Umbrella Man”
When eleven-year-old Melvin started to build model airplanes for kicks, he was just looking for a way to pass the time and beat the summer heat during break. A straight-A student, Melvin diligently read the instructions on not only the hobby shop model kits, but also on the airplane cement that his mom bought him at the five and dime. Melvin knew to use conservative amounts of glue for his projects and only in a well-ventilated area—near a fan or an open window.
But then one day, Melvin stayed up past his bedtime, finishing the construction of the fuselage for a 1:50 P-51 Mustang that he’d bought with the money he’d earned picking up lawn-clippings for Mr. Watson—the owner of the neighborhood lawn service. Melvin, in his enthusiasm to complete his prize model, misjudged his own level of exhaustion, and fell asleep on his desk NEXT TO AN OPEN TUBE OF AIRPLANE GLUE! Continue reading “Talk to Your Kids About Glue”
I need to get on the ball with the really sweet content, but in the meantime, here’s a charming little video I made a few years back.
I spent a lot of time in Moscow before the Iron Curtain came down, but not always. Sometimes, they’d send me over to Budapest or Minsk or Prague, and I didn’t have so much supervision. A lot of time, little assignments like this were a type of reward for a job well done in Russia. Unofficial. Everyone loved to go to Prague. My God, what a time, but even Moscow could be fun back then.
I had one of those black knee-length leather coats that everyone thinks we wore to look intimidating, but the truth of the matter is that we thought they really just looked cool. Maybe our idea of cool was intimidating. I don’t know. But I’d pick some little restaurant with good music and vodka and a little bit of a crowd and I’d make a grand entrance. Continue reading “Confessions of a Former KGB Officer (But Not a Very Good One)”